it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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