i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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