I'm jealous of your bromance
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
