I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
