Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
