Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize