Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
