Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
