I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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