I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
