oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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