I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
