how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't turn off my feet"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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