yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
