last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
why is half of my head shaved?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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