Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
