So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i've created a new STD.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
