i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The Olympian is in my bed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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