Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
