Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize