is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
