thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
