smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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