i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
