so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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