It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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