We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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