so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
