so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
