nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
