I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
