btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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