Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
