Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
