in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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