I cockslap morals
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
