A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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