I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize