my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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