at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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