He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
