East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Your dad touched me again.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
