He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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