one might say we're banned from that church
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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