the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
