can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize