he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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