I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
