I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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