do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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