He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ttyl tear gas
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
