Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
