i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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