Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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