I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
