I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
