We named our party play list daddy issues
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
