even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize