brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
