Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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