I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
