We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
