wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Two words: blizzard sex
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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