She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
